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- This book is a must-read for parents contemplating divorce, those already in the divorce process and those who have a parenting plan in place. It gives parents important insight into the issues and real needs of children. Shannon has very important knowledge and wisdom to share with parents. I will recommend this book to all my clients who are dealing with parenting plan issues.
- Albert V. Evans, Family Law Attorney since 1970
- This book is a key practical tool for parents when life is in crisis. It will help to ensure that our unresolved issues start healing and do not dim the possibility of a joyful and creative life for our children. I truly thank you for gifting this book to the world.
- Candice Bataille Popiel, coparent of a 7 and 8 year-old and co-author of Discovery of Glow
- Shannon Rios' personal experience, research, and professional expertise offer compassion and respect to divorced and separated parents. If parents read The Fatal 7 Mistakes and apply all the practical tips this book offers, they will get along better with their parenting partners, heal from their divorce faster and help their children come through the divorce with their self-esteem intact. This book will help ensure families achieve emotional health despite these life-changing events.
- Jody Johnston Pawel, author of the award-winning book The Parent's Toolshop: The Universal Blueprint for Building a Healthy Family
- Shannon comes from personal experience and from the heart in her deep desire to help children of divorcing parents. Parents - read this book! You CAN move through the divorce process without injuring your children!
- Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author/coauthor of "Healing Your Aloneness", Inner Bonding, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?.
- As a mother of a 7 yr. old, going through a divorce, my main concern is the well-being of my child. This book was a godsend! It has helped me be the best mom for my son, while going through this difficult process."
- Katy, mother of a 7 yr old.
This wonderful book should be required reading and writing for every divorced or never married parent. It also should be on the bookshelf of every mediator, counselor or attorney helping separated parents raise happier kids.
Dr. Shirley Thomas, Two Happy Homes: A Working Guide for Parents & Stepparents After Divorce and Remarriage and Parents are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents After Divorce
Don't let the word Fatal in the title scare you, when you look inside, you will find Shannon Rios's book to be one of the best parenting after divorce books ever written. She has understanding, compassion, and an uncanny understanding of what children � and parents � need. I have seen many divorce books during the past 25 years, and while they are all helpful in varying degrees, if every parent could read Shannon's book, most of the problem suffered by children as an outcome of their parents' divorce would be substantially eased. This book should be required reading in all divorce classes."
David L. Levy, Esq., President, Board of Trustees, Children's Rights Council
For the divorced or separated parent who wants to raise emotionally safe and secure children: this book could be exactly what you are looking for. This book was easy to read, yet practically applicable, capable of bringing out the subtle actions and words that parents, hurting from their own divorce experience, may not realize are inadvertently hurting their children.
David Meggitt, Manager, Colorado Children's Program Betty Ford Institute
Parents of separation, divorce and conflict will find this book an invaluable and treasured guide�it's filled with heart-felt, sage, and practical advice. Shannon Rios shows parents how to ask themselves and their children questions that optimize healing and growth, even during times of conflict and difficulty. Children whose parents read this book will be lucky indeed!"--
- Marilee Adams, Ph.D. Author, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
Every so often someone comes along with the rare ability to see things differently and in doing so, changes our lives forever. Suddenly, issues that seemed so difficult to understand and actions that seemed too painful to take, begin to open up to an entirely new understanding that shifts our consciousness and heals our soul! It is this clarity of vision that Shannon Rios brings to her latest work. You owe it to yourself to read this powerful new book but more importantly, you owe it to your children.
- Jeffrey Alan Hall, Author Speaker Teacher, www.jeffreyalenhall.com, A Course in Miracles
Divorced and divorcing parents and their children, regardless of age, will see themselves in this book. They will also recognize the author knows how easy it is to be ensnared in the traps she describes and how difficult it is to avoid them. She provides many prompts for improving self-awareness and exercises to aid management of tendencies harmful to children. Those able to follow at least some of her suggestions should be richly rewarded by improvement in the health and happiness of their children as well themselves.
Bonnie W. Camp, MD, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Pediatrics and Psychiatry
University of Colorado School of Medicine
LIFE/RELATIONSHIP TRANSITION COACHING
- Have you recently gone through or are going through the ending of a relationship?
- Are you feeling extreme pain?
- Do you want to understand how to move forward into peace and happiness?
- Are you ready to create healthy patterns in your future relationships?
- Do you want to attract healthier relationships?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you have arrived in the right place. Shannon bases her relationship life coaching work on the premise that we are all on a journey to love ourselves. Through visualization, meditation and discussion clients are assisted to move through the ending of relationship. Working with Shannon will empower you to understand why this relationship came into your life and what you can do to move your life forward.
“Those relationships that assist in our healing will always be a part of our heart”
“We can only love someone to the extent we love ourselves”
Clients come to understand that the pain they are feeling is truly not only pain from the relationship but is also old pain they are healing from their past. The end of relationship can trigger old abandonment, attachment and survival issues to surface. The beautiful thing about this pain is that it is here now so it can be healed. This pain, if we heal through it, allows us to come closer to our wholeness as a human. Shannon walks with clients as they heal through this pain. Your previous partner has been a mirror in some way for you and now you can look at what they were mirroring to you. We attract in others to assist us in our healing and growth. Shannon assists you in looking into this mirror so you can realize what it is that you are wanting in your life from yourself. No one can give us something we cannot first provide to ourselves in our lives. Shannon sees end of relationship as a beginning and a rebirth. It can be a time of amazing joy and healing if we do our personal work and choose to see it that way.
“Two people love in each other the future good which they will unfold”
Once this pain is healed, clients are able to choose and create healthier future relationships. Through this process you learn to respect the person that you thought so deeply hurt you when they were truly a healing force in your life. Moving through this process is crucial for everyone and especially crucial if you have children. The greatest gift you can give your children is to heal yourself and to respect their other parent. You can be assured at a deep level that this person came into your life to assist you in moving forward in your journey. You must be willing and open to this possibility to truly heal and move forward from this event.
Shannon and many other experts in the field of love agree that our purpose here is truly to learn to love ourselves, Gary Kossman expresses this truth so beautifully in his poem below:
“Oh, you mean we have to remember why we are here?” I asked.
“That’s the whole point, silly,” she said with a little laugh.
“Why are we here?” I almost whispered.
“TO LEARN TO LOVE OURSELVES”
She said as her Aura grew in strength and her colors danced
All around her in ways too hard to describe in words.
“For unless we truly LOVE ourselves how can we truly LOVE others?”
She said with a look on her face that showed it was the
most natural thing in the world to know.
“When we remember to Love Ourselves and see God in EVERYTHING, in the Flower and Trees, the Animals, the Rocks, the Sky, the Stars, our Neighbors, and even the Ants and the Spiders, well, then we have fulfilled our function.”
“WOW HOW COOL!” I said, seeing what she meant. “If we always thought like that IT WOULD ALMOST SEEM POSSIBLE TO HAVE HEAVEN ON EARTH.”
She looked at me with her eyes wide open, smiling, yet not saying a word.
“OH….I GET IT,” I SAID, SUDDENLY SEEING THE LIGHT
Gary C. Kossman ©2005
Please call 303-720-6534 to schedule a session with Shannon
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Be The Change
- Let all of us, in our own unique way, recommit ourselves to the
search for the pebbles of change that can be cast into the social
pond. Let us create a divorce process that recycles divorce
pain into new patterns of personal and familial growth which,
in turn, will also strengthen our entire society. Let us protect
our children from the unnecessary hazards of the divorce
experience so that they, like their parents, can be strengthened
by divorce rather than defeated by it. And let us never forget
that if the lights go out in our children’s eyes, be they children
of divorce or any other children, we will all live in darkness.
- —Meyer Elkin, Editor AFCC