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    • This book is a must-read for parents contemplating divorce, those already in the divorce process and those who have a parenting plan in place. It gives parents important insight into the issues and real needs of children. Shannon has very important knowledge and wisdom to share with parents. I will recommend this book to all my clients who are dealing with parenting plan issues.
    • Albert V. Evans, Family Law Attorney since 1970
    • This book is a key practical tool for parents when life is in crisis. It will help to ensure that our unresolved issues start healing and do not dim the possibility of a joyful and creative life for our children. I truly thank you for gifting this book to the world.
    • Candice Bataille Popiel, coparent of a 7 and 8 year-old and co-author of Discovery of Glow
    • Shannon Rios' personal experience, research, and professional expertise offer compassion and respect to divorced and separated parents. If parents read The Fatal 7 Mistakes and apply all the practical tips this book offers, they will get along better with their parenting partners, heal from their divorce faster and help their children come through the divorce with their self-esteem intact. This book will help ensure families achieve emotional health despite these life-changing events.
    • Jody Johnston Pawel, author of the award-winning book The Parent's Toolshop: The Universal Blueprint for Building a Healthy Family
    • Shannon comes from personal experience and from the heart in her deep desire to help children of divorcing parents. Parents - read this book! You CAN move through the divorce process without injuring your children!
    • Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author/coauthor of "Healing Your Aloneness", Inner Bonding, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?.
    • As a mother of a 7 yr. old, going through a divorce, my main concern is the well-being of my child. This book was a godsend! It has helped me be the best mom for my son, while going through this difficult process."
    • Katy, mother of a 7 yr old.
    • This wonderful book should be required reading and writing for every divorced or never married parent. It also should be on the bookshelf of every mediator, counselor or attorney helping separated parents raise happier kids.
    • Dr. Shirley Thomas, Two Happy Homes: A Working Guide for Parents & Stepparents After Divorce and Remarriage and Parents are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents After Divorce
    • Don't let the word Fatal in the title scare you, when you look inside, you will find Shannon Rios's book to be one of the best parenting after divorce books ever written. She has understanding, compassion, and an uncanny understanding of what children � and parents � need. I have seen many divorce books during the past 25 years, and while they are all helpful in varying degrees, if every parent could read Shannon's book, most of the problem suffered by children as an outcome of their parents' divorce would be substantially eased. This book should be required reading in all divorce classes."
    • David L. Levy, Esq., President, Board of Trustees, Children's Rights Council
    • For the divorced or separated parent who wants to raise emotionally safe and secure children: this book could be exactly what you are looking for. This book was easy to read, yet practically applicable, capable of bringing out the subtle actions and words that parents, hurting from their own divorce experience, may not realize are inadvertently hurting their children.
    • David Meggitt, Manager, Colorado Children's Program Betty Ford Institute
    • Parents of separation, divorce and conflict will find this book an invaluable and treasured guide�it's filled with heart-felt, sage, and practical advice. Shannon Rios shows parents how to ask themselves and their children questions that optimize healing and growth, even during times of conflict and difficulty. Children whose parents read this book will be lucky indeed!"--
    • Marilee Adams, Ph.D. Author, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
    • Every so often someone comes along with the rare ability to see things differently and in doing so, changes our lives forever. Suddenly, issues that seemed so difficult to understand and actions that seemed too painful to take, begin to open up to an entirely new understanding that shifts our consciousness and heals our soul! It is this clarity of vision that Shannon Rios brings to her latest work. You owe it to yourself to read this powerful new book but more importantly, you owe it to your children.
    • Jeffrey Alan Hall, Author Speaker Teacher, www.jeffreyalenhall.com, A Course in Miracles
    • Divorced and divorcing parents and their children, regardless of age, will see themselves in this book. They will also recognize the author knows how easy it is to be ensnared in the traps she describes and how difficult it is to avoid them. She provides many prompts for improving self-awareness and exercises to aid management of tendencies harmful to children. Those able to follow at least some of her suggestions should be richly rewarded by improvement in the health and happiness of their children as well themselves.
    • Bonnie W. Camp, MD, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Pediatrics and Psychiatry University of Colorado School of Medicine

Parenting and Divorce: Meeting the Needs of our Children Part 1

February 25th, 2014

Children are a huge source of love in our lives; they can say one sentence, bring a huge smile to our face, and remind us of the innocence of childhood. Children all deserve that time of play, laughter, and fun as they grow up. This blog series addresses what parents and other loved ones can do for children before, during and after a divorce. You can take this information and pass it along or decide to be mentor or positive role model for the children yourself.

happy children feeding ducks

Children are resilient and they will make it through this event. However, I also want you to know that your behavior and the actions you take will have a major impact on your children and their lives. It is very positive that you are reading this blog series. It says that you are curious and that you want to understand how your divorce may impact or has impacted your children.

I have had the opportunity to know many divorcing parents. From conversations with them and research I have done, I identified some questions you may be asking yourself: “What is my role as a parent as I go through this process?” “Why is thinking about the impact of divorce on my children important?” “What might my children be going through during this time?” and “What should I be doing for my children during this time?” I will attempt to answer these questions over the next few weeks.

Why is thinking about the impact of divorce on my children important?

It is very important to put children first during the divorce process. Research suggests that divorce can negatively impact children. We do know for sure that no matter what, divorce creates stress and disruption in children’s lives, which can be minimized if parents take time to understand the impact of divorce on children and what they can do to minimize that impact. In taking time to think about this impact, you are putting your children first.

Parents may not want to think that divorce impacts their children or read blogs such as this one that may invoke feelings of guilt. If this topic does bring up some feelings of guilt, take a minute to realize that taking a step to positively impact your child’s future should never entail any amount of guilt. The long-term benefits to your child will outweigh the feelings of guilt you may have ten-fold. I can tell you with great certainty that if you apply some of the advice put forth in this blog, you will be going a long way in assisting your children through this process.

Divorce is a decision that will impact your family for the rest of your lives. Take a few minutes to understand how you can play a role in ensuring that your children are well taken care of during this process. That is all that they can ask from you or that you can ask from yourself during this time. You have a lot going on, but taking time to think about your children’s needs is probably more important than you could ever imagine.

Stay tuned as we answer more questions in this series.

               

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  • Be The Change

  • Let all of us, in our own unique way, recommit ourselves to the search for the pebbles of change that can be cast into the social pond. Let us create a divorce process that recycles divorce pain into new patterns of personal and familial growth which, in turn, will also strengthen our entire society. Let us protect our children from the unnecessary hazards of the divorce experience so that they, like their parents, can be strengthened by divorce rather than defeated by it. And let us never forget that if the lights go out in our children’s eyes, be they children of divorce or any other children, we will all live in darkness.
  • —Meyer Elkin, Editor AFCC
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