Being present for our children is one of the best gifts we can give them. Children know when we are not focusing on them. It is also important to be present with ourselves. Conscious breathing, or longer exhale than inhale can help our body calm down. It has been said we can change our lives in we just breathe concsiously a few times a day. The most acclaimed parenting programs focus on parents taking care of themselves so they keep calm which, in turn, keeps children calmer. It is a true phenomenon called “mirror neurons”. We mirror each other and so if we want those around us to be calmer and more peaceful, we must cultivate that peace within. What can you do today to cultivate your peace inside? On that note, it is time for me to get out and take a nice walk in this wonderful weather in Northern MI. I am once again visiting my wonderful nephew and sister and brother-in-law in MI. Enjoy this day and be in gratitude for all you have, that is going to be the focus of my walk.
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Sometimes I believe parents and caregivers of children don’t take enough time to take care of themselves and put themselves first sometimes. We sometimes hold ourselves to high standards and beat ourselves up for normal things or things that we did not have a lot of control over.
I worked with a client today on commitment and compassion. These are really important things to remember this time of year. Take time to be compassionate with yourself, you are only human. Take time to have commitment to you. Take time to do what YOU want. Caregivers must take care of themselves or they become depleted.
What do you need today to take care of you? What one thing can you commit to this holiday season to do to take care of you? What gift will you give yourself this year? Hopefully your gift will include the gift of love to yourself. You deserve it.
Of course, I think kids are amazing. That is why I do the work I do. This week I was blessed to spend 6 days with my 4.5 month old nephew in Northern MI. I just want to take this moment to thank and honor all of our children for the teachers they are in our lives. Liam teaches me about patience and unconditional love. I took care of his mother so many years ago as I was a teeenager during her growing years (my sister). I know it is also due to my sisters that I do my work in this world, but it is such a gift to me to enjoy my nephew/godson. I just want to take this time and have you take the next few minutes to sit/breathe/meditate on the gifts that all the children in your life have given you. I will always contend that they are our greatest teachers. I want to thank and honor all the children in the world. We must also remember that at one time, we all were those little children teaching the adults in our lives.
Aunt Shannon;)
Yesterday I posted about compassion. Having compassion for ourselves. So, you may be asking, “how exactly do we do that?””. I want to make this very simple. I want everyone to have access to all you deserve in your life. I truly believe that involves compassion for yourself. To do this, we must observe ourselves.
If you take time to pretend you are outside of yourself watching and observing yourself, this is the key. You can then see all the great things about you and you can have compassion for yourself. It also allows you to remove yourself from the emotion you are having and just observe your situation.
I have heard very positive success stories about just observing rather than getting “caught up” in circumstance. Circumstances are only temporary. It is also true that you only have the present moment and if you can just be there life is ok in that moment.
This can also work in our daily lives with our children. Just observe your behavior with your children and see if it is healthy. Remember to enjoy that present moment with your child and life will have a new perspective.
Each time life feels overwhelming or you are not being compassionate with yourself, move to observance of you, all you have accomplished and all that you are. This will shift your life over time.
To you and your life,
7 Fatal Mistakes
Over 30 exercises and practical strategies for families that are divorced, separated, considering divorce or never married who want to raise healthy children.
Click here for a book summary.
Healthy Children of Divorce
A life-changing 10-step simple process that will assist you in raising healthy children of divorce.
In Love with Me
In this book you learn foundational skills to build deep self-love. Your entire life will shift in mysterious ways.